ASHES TO ASHES FOREST TO DUST KEEP WISCONSIN GREEN OR WE’LL ALL GO BUST BURMA-SHAVE --Burma Shave sign, 1949, as quoted in the book “Verse By The Side Of The Road”, by Frank Rowsome, Jr.So let’s start with AIDS. If you have it, you need AIDS drugs – but you might not be able to afford ‘em. So what do you do? Well…one obvious choice is to die, slowly – but another is to seek help from the State. In most States, that is done in a fairly routine matter, but in some Sates it is not; for some of the folks in these States, instead of drugs, they get a waiting list. And since AIDS doesn’t really recognize waiting lists…this is bad. (Fun Fact: See if you can guess where the 12 States who have waiting lists are located; if you guessed more or less the Old Confederacy, you get a cookie. Of the 9200 Americans on waiting lists, only about 225 live above the Mason-Dixon Line; almost 6000 are in Florida and Georgia alone.) But it can be fixed, for about $105 million, if we lean on the right people, and as our friend D. Gregory Smith over at Bilerico tells us, Congressman Denny Rehberg (MT-01) is one person to be leaning on. A petition is circulating that you can sign to help move this along, or you can call Rehberg’s DC office Monday at (202) 225-3211 – and whichever one you do – or both – you’re going to be doing a whole lot of folks you never met a whole lot of good. So now that you’ve done your part to help out those who need it…how about a bit of a thought experiment? You are no doubt aware that you’ve been subsidizing, with your hard-earned tax dollars, the use of fossil fuels – and in fact, if you’re a typical American, you spent just about $500 over the past five years to do just that. Of course, over the same time period you’ve been subsidizing solar power as well, and here’s where the thought experiment comes into play: Try to imagine how much you’ve spent on that subsidy. Whaddaya think? $250, $150, $900? $825, $3350, $847.63? How about none of the above. How about…wait for it…$7.24. That’s right: at the same time you’ve been handing over an extra $100 a year to oil companies…for no particular reason…even as the price of oil keeps going up…you’ve been providing about a $1.40 a year to encourage the rollout of a technology that can potentially pay for itself, might just help get us off oil as a transportation fuel, and could even provide a few million jobs along the way – and as we all know, if we build “solar stuff” in the USA and throw it right up on our roofs, then it’s gonna make it pretty tough for OPEC or China or whomever to raise the price of the Sun as we back away from oil and build out electric cars. Pretty much all of this argument is presented in one handy graphic by the folks at 1 Block Off The Grid, an organization that seeks to put solar electricity generation on your roof, and I became aware of this because it was Tweeted to me (and to be honest, I get enough Tweets a day that I’m not going to go back and figure out who it was (mea culpa) – although I can tell you that Roger Ebert posted the handy graphic at his blog on the “Chicago Sun-Times” site; he’s also Tweeted on the subject. That’s two out of today’s three stories down, and the last one is a good one: If you don’t know The Yes Men by now, you should; they’re a modern version of the “Merry Pranksters” who blow minds by helping corporations stumble over their own deep embarrassments - very publicly. Here’s the most recent example: Peabody Energy mines coal that is associated with air pollution that is threatening the lives of the kids who live near…well, air, anyway, and The Yes Men did a little collaboration with a group called Coal is Killing Kids that involved creating a fake “health campaign” supposedly orchestrated by Peabody (the “Coal Cares” Project). The fake announcement said that Peabody would begin giving free inhalers to kids living near coal-fired power plants – and to make asthma more fun for the kids, “fake Peabody” announced their new line of kiddie inhalers: “the Bieber”, “My Little Pony”, “Baby’s First Inhaler”, and, of course, the “Harry Potter”. There’s also a webpage with fun activities for the kids (try the wordsearch…or perhaps you’d rather color in “Puff” and “Ash”); just swing on by CoalCares.org to join the fun. Naturally, the real Peabody had to deny everything, and they’re not at all happy about it – and that is what equals victory in these “assaults of embarrassment”. (There was an additional, coincidental, victory: Scholastic Books decided to sever their ties with the coal industry, and CoalCares helped; as a result coal industry-funded curricular materials will no longer be distributed to schools.) Now the reason all this happened is because The Yes Men have decided they couldn’t fix the world all by themselves, and they’re sort of “growing the brand” by launching the YesLab (it’s another collaboration, this time with New York University). Are you in New York on the 14th? Attend the launch event. It’s free, and it will be fun. But amidst all the fun and frivolity, there’s a serious side here: this thing is not going to be cheap, and while I almost never ask you to donate to anything – even me – I am going to ask you, if you have a few extra bucks, to help out the YesLab, which you can do by hitting that “Donate” button on the left side of the YesLab.org page. So that’s it for today: you can help fix the world, you can help spread the word about energy subsidies for fossil fuels, and maybe you can help someone get off a waiting list that, at the moment, is leaving them waiting for death. Or, I suppose, you could go pop on the TV and watch the rest of that 72-hour 9/11 marathon that’s been on every single channel in the world – but with my 9/11 cards now sent out and the presents all delivered…I know which one I’d prefer.
Showing posts with label The Yes Men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Yes Men. Show all posts
Sunday, September 11, 2011
On Not Doing 9/11, Or, Right Now, I’ve Got A Desk To Clear
I’m going to be really honest with you: after all the fights at the mall to get just the right present for everybody and the giant hassle of going to the Post Office so I can get the perfect stamps for my cards – and then worrying that I left someone off the list – I am just not in the mood to do a 9/11 story.
And it’s been getting worse every year. I mean, just like the “It’s Christmas Every Day Store”, I know there’s one of the “9/11 Every Day” stores open, in the all-too-human form of Rudy Giuliani, and I’ve learned to live with that, but it seems like they got started with the 9/11 earlier than ever this year – and by the time the TV memorials and analysis and retrospectives are all over, to paraphrase Lewis Black…I’m going to hate freedom.
In an effort to stave off this fate, we’ll be headed in a different direction today: I have three stories to pass along; each is important enough that you really should know about them, and yet they’re each very much bite-sized and easily digestible.
It’s all good stuff…so let’s get right to it.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
On Pulling A Prank, Or, Climate Change Conference Changed By…You
It’s time, once again, to bring you the news that is not yet news.
For those not yet aware, there will be a climate change conference in New York City next week, conducted under the auspices of the United Nations.
The 100 world leaders who will be participating in the conference will be arriving on Monday, and if you’re in New York City the same day, you have a chance to participate in a not-to-be-forgotten “welcome event” and pranking opportunity.
Follow along and I’ll tell you how to get involved—and if you do, they’ll even send you home with a lovely parting gift.
To really understand this story you need to know a little bit about some of the best “merry pranksters” out there, The Yes Men, so before we go any farther, let’s cover that base.
Imagine if there was a group of people who specialized in impersonating capitalism as a means of exposing the reality of “profit before all else”, and that their impersonations occur in ways that even the capitalists don’t see coming—and sometimes don’t even recognize while it’s happening.
Imagine no more, because The Yes Men, not unlike Mighty Mouse, have “come to save the day.”
My favorite example of what they do is what I think of as the “Bhopal Prank”.
Union Carbide was the majority owner of a company that owned a manufacturing facility in Bhopal, India; a leak of methyl isocyanate gas from that facility immediately killed 3,800 people in the early morning hours of December 3, 1984. It is now estimated that as many as 25,000 people may have died over the years as a result of the leak. More than 500,000 have received some form of compensation for injuries related to the events of that day.
The Indian Government assumed legal control of the liability issues arising from the incident, which turned out to be pretty good for Union Carbide, as the average settlement to the families of the deceased has been about $2,200 (for a total of about $470 million), a number that’s probably quite a bit lower than if the liability question had been adjudicated in a US venue. Settlements notwithstanding, litigation continues to this day in the Indian Court system.
Union Carbide denied that they were operating the facility at the time, a position with which other observers strongly disagree (at one point, the company also asserted that sabotage from Sikh separatists was responsible for the leak). The disagreement has been so strong that on July 31 of this year a court in India issued an arrest warrant for Warren Anderson, Union Carbide’s former CEO.
As of this date no environmental cleanup has been undertaken at the Bhopal site, and technical information relating to this gas and the dispersal event remain unavailable to the local medical and scientific community.
Among the assets Dow Chemical acquired from Union Carbide as part of their 2001 takeover of the company was an incredible amount of bad will related to the leak and the continuing denial of responsibility…which brings us back to The Yes Men.
On the 20th anniversary of the leak, Dow spokesman Jude Finisterra made worldwide headlines by announcing on the BBC that Dow would now accept full responsibility for the deaths, injuries, and environmental damage caused by the Union Carbide operation, and that they would dedicate $12 billion to the remediation effort.
Roughly two hours later, an actual Dow spokesman announced that they were not, in fact, doing any such thing; and Andy Bichlbaum of The Yes Men (who, as you might have guessed, was also “Jude Finisterra”) appeared on the BBC for a second time that day to explain their highly successful prank. The video of that appearance suggests that the BBC was not amused. (Neither was Dow, who saw their stock go down 3% during that hour or so.)
It’s not their only prank (see: The Halliburton SurvivaBall)—and tomorrow, if you’re in New York City, you can help pull off another.
Here’s what you do to join in the fun:
Go right now to http://newyorkbigevent.com/ and sign up. You will either be notified by “TwitterPhone” or standard text that you’ve signed up, and between now and tomorrow morning you will receive instructions by text on that same phone.
Show up for the event—even for a few minutes, if that’s all the time you have—and a statement will be made, fun will be had, and an international climate change conference will get the kind of kickoff it really deserves.
Not to mention, you’ll be leaving with a cool gift.
Today’s story is a short one, so let’s wrap it all up:
In an effort to help people see corporate criminals for who they really are, The Yes Men create dark and beautiful pranks, and they pull them on people who truly deserve it.
Tomorrow, in an effort to “set the right tone” for the international climate change conference taking place in New York City, another one of these pranks will occur—and you can be a part of it all, in front of an audience of millions and more or less 100 arriving heads of state.
So get over there (again, http://newyorkbigevent.com/), get signed up…and tomorrow, get involved in doing something you won’t soon forget.
The entire Planet Earth, with the exception of Senator James Inhofe, will thank you.
For those not yet aware, there will be a climate change conference in New York City next week, conducted under the auspices of the United Nations.
The 100 world leaders who will be participating in the conference will be arriving on Monday, and if you’re in New York City the same day, you have a chance to participate in a not-to-be-forgotten “welcome event” and pranking opportunity.
Follow along and I’ll tell you how to get involved—and if you do, they’ll even send you home with a lovely parting gift.
To really understand this story you need to know a little bit about some of the best “merry pranksters” out there, The Yes Men, so before we go any farther, let’s cover that base.
Imagine if there was a group of people who specialized in impersonating capitalism as a means of exposing the reality of “profit before all else”, and that their impersonations occur in ways that even the capitalists don’t see coming—and sometimes don’t even recognize while it’s happening.
Imagine no more, because The Yes Men, not unlike Mighty Mouse, have “come to save the day.”
My favorite example of what they do is what I think of as the “Bhopal Prank”.
Union Carbide was the majority owner of a company that owned a manufacturing facility in Bhopal, India; a leak of methyl isocyanate gas from that facility immediately killed 3,800 people in the early morning hours of December 3, 1984. It is now estimated that as many as 25,000 people may have died over the years as a result of the leak. More than 500,000 have received some form of compensation for injuries related to the events of that day.
The Indian Government assumed legal control of the liability issues arising from the incident, which turned out to be pretty good for Union Carbide, as the average settlement to the families of the deceased has been about $2,200 (for a total of about $470 million), a number that’s probably quite a bit lower than if the liability question had been adjudicated in a US venue. Settlements notwithstanding, litigation continues to this day in the Indian Court system.
Union Carbide denied that they were operating the facility at the time, a position with which other observers strongly disagree (at one point, the company also asserted that sabotage from Sikh separatists was responsible for the leak). The disagreement has been so strong that on July 31 of this year a court in India issued an arrest warrant for Warren Anderson, Union Carbide’s former CEO.
As of this date no environmental cleanup has been undertaken at the Bhopal site, and technical information relating to this gas and the dispersal event remain unavailable to the local medical and scientific community.
Among the assets Dow Chemical acquired from Union Carbide as part of their 2001 takeover of the company was an incredible amount of bad will related to the leak and the continuing denial of responsibility…which brings us back to The Yes Men.
“If you were wise you would learn life only by inexperience. That is what makes it always unexpected and delightful. Never to realize—that is the true ideal.”
--Laurence Housman, “Echo de Paris; a study from life”.
On the 20th anniversary of the leak, Dow spokesman Jude Finisterra made worldwide headlines by announcing on the BBC that Dow would now accept full responsibility for the deaths, injuries, and environmental damage caused by the Union Carbide operation, and that they would dedicate $12 billion to the remediation effort.
Roughly two hours later, an actual Dow spokesman announced that they were not, in fact, doing any such thing; and Andy Bichlbaum of The Yes Men (who, as you might have guessed, was also “Jude Finisterra”) appeared on the BBC for a second time that day to explain their highly successful prank. The video of that appearance suggests that the BBC was not amused. (Neither was Dow, who saw their stock go down 3% during that hour or so.)
It’s not their only prank (see: The Halliburton SurvivaBall)—and tomorrow, if you’re in New York City, you can help pull off another.
Here’s what you do to join in the fun:
Go right now to http://newyorkbigevent.com/ and sign up. You will either be notified by “TwitterPhone” or standard text that you’ve signed up, and between now and tomorrow morning you will receive instructions by text on that same phone.
Show up for the event—even for a few minutes, if that’s all the time you have—and a statement will be made, fun will be had, and an international climate change conference will get the kind of kickoff it really deserves.
Not to mention, you’ll be leaving with a cool gift.
Today’s story is a short one, so let’s wrap it all up:
In an effort to help people see corporate criminals for who they really are, The Yes Men create dark and beautiful pranks, and they pull them on people who truly deserve it.
Tomorrow, in an effort to “set the right tone” for the international climate change conference taking place in New York City, another one of these pranks will occur—and you can be a part of it all, in front of an audience of millions and more or less 100 arriving heads of state.
So get over there (again, http://newyorkbigevent.com/), get signed up…and tomorrow, get involved in doing something you won’t soon forget.
The entire Planet Earth, with the exception of Senator James Inhofe, will thank you.
Monday, September 8, 2008
On Making A Statement, Or, The Revolution Will Be Downloaded
We have been busy, these past two weeks...and we deserve a bit of a break before we get right back at it tomorrow...so to that end I have two “mini-stories” for you that will give you a chance to be ahead of the curve, to jump in on something new—and in one case, to help pull a major public prank.
Along the way, I have some “don’t miss” video for you to see—including a 1960s classic that is utterly and completely disconnected from politics in every way...but is still the perfect thing for a Monday.
And just to show what a help I can be, I’m even going to leave you with a story idea you can run with that has been almost entirely ignored by the larger media.
There are few filmmakers in American history who have impacted American politics as much as Michael Moore. Fahrenheit 9/11, Bowling For Columbine, and Sicko have all recently changed the political dynamic...much as “Roger and Me” did almost 20 years ago.
And this month, a new Michael Moore movie is to be released: ”Slacker Uprising”.
So with times as tough as they are, wouldn’t it be great if the movie was...oh, I don’t know...free?
Hey, America (and Canada...), guess what—it is.
For the first time ever a major studio film production will be premiered on the Internet...and it will be free...and to make it even better you can download the film, and keep the copy, pass it around, or whatever.
The movie will “drop” September 23rd; and you can go to the Slacker Uprising website to register for the download today. Come the 23rd, you go back, download a “full” version of the movie—and it’s all free.
Now if you want the “deluxe” package...the DVD is also for sale at the website...it’s $9.95...and it includes a presentation of “My Pet Goat” in case you need something to read the next time you want to re-create Presidential history.
I promised you a story heads-up, so here it is: while New Orleans might have survived the recent hurricane mostly unscathed, Baton Rouge is severely damaged. In fact, it could be three weeks before power is fully restored.
Go check this out...and get the stories rolling.
I can’t do them all, you know.
Now to close out today, I want to ask you to get involved in helping to advance a giant secret prank.
Giant secret prank, did you say?
Indeed I did.
Here’s the deal: I got an email the other day from my friends over at “The Yes Men”...and they are looking for donations because they are preparing another outrageous event.
Outrageous event?
Whatever do you mean?
Well, in the past they were involved in the formation of the Barbie Liberation Organization (the group swapped the voiceboxes from Barbies into GI Joes...and vice versa...and then placed the altered toys back on the shelves to be sold to unsuspecting customers).
They made Dow Chemical admit---very publicly—that they had no intention of compensating the victims of the Bhopal Disaster...and they did it by faking Dow’s admissions of guilt, announcing a fake compensation plan...on the BBC...along with the fake “requisite apology”...which forced Dow to announce that the Bhopal victims are getting nothing.
They also manage to get invited to conferences as representatives of the WTO from time to time (it all has to do with a confusing website they created back in the day...); proposing such things as “compassionate slavery” and the Halliburton SurvivaBall.
The last big prank for which The Yes Men raised funds had them (this time as fake representatives of Exxon/Mobil) proposing—at Canada’s largest annual energy conference--to use dead humans as an alternative energy source. During the event they handed out to the audience candles made from Vivolium, the new dead human fuel they had developed...and your donations paid for the candles.
Here’s the description from the email I received:
So here’s your chance to get directly involved in...something...just in time to influence the election—and to have a lot of fun doing it.
Ever wish you had been a Merry Prankster?
40 years later, here’s your chance.
So that’s today’s story: there’s a free Michael Moore movie available in a few days...and there’s a fantastic opportunity to put the money you saved on movie tickets, jujubes, and popcorn to good use.
Having fun while doing good—who doesn’t love that idea?
Along the way, I have some “don’t miss” video for you to see—including a 1960s classic that is utterly and completely disconnected from politics in every way...but is still the perfect thing for a Monday.
And just to show what a help I can be, I’m even going to leave you with a story idea you can run with that has been almost entirely ignored by the larger media.
There are few filmmakers in American history who have impacted American politics as much as Michael Moore. Fahrenheit 9/11, Bowling For Columbine, and Sicko have all recently changed the political dynamic...much as “Roger and Me” did almost 20 years ago.
And this month, a new Michael Moore movie is to be released: ”Slacker Uprising”.
So with times as tough as they are, wouldn’t it be great if the movie was...oh, I don’t know...free?
Hey, America (and Canada...), guess what—it is.
For the first time ever a major studio film production will be premiered on the Internet...and it will be free...and to make it even better you can download the film, and keep the copy, pass it around, or whatever.
Our first “don’t miss video” is a 30 second commercial that was put together by the Campaign for America’s Future for the delegates attending the Republican Convention this past week. Katrina, the price of gas, the housing crisis...and that “Mission Accomplished” moment—all reprised to the tune of “Thanks for the Memories”.
I love this video—and you will too.
The movie will “drop” September 23rd; and you can go to the Slacker Uprising website to register for the download today. Come the 23rd, you go back, download a “full” version of the movie—and it’s all free.
Now if you want the “deluxe” package...the DVD is also for sale at the website...it’s $9.95...and it includes a presentation of “My Pet Goat” in case you need something to read the next time you want to re-create Presidential history.
Who loves the game “Grand Theft Auto”? Those who do will also love one of my favorite videos--Chuck D., Flavor Flav, and George W. Bush working together as though they were some sort of...Public Enemy...performing the song “Grand Theft Oil”.
It has a great beat, you can dance to it...and it excoriates the President.
What could be better?
I promised you a story heads-up, so here it is: while New Orleans might have survived the recent hurricane mostly unscathed, Baton Rouge is severely damaged. In fact, it could be three weeks before power is fully restored.
Go check this out...and get the stories rolling.
I can’t do them all, you know.
Now to close out today, I want to ask you to get involved in helping to advance a giant secret prank.
Giant secret prank, did you say?
Indeed I did.
Here’s the deal: I got an email the other day from my friends over at “The Yes Men”...and they are looking for donations because they are preparing another outrageous event.
Outrageous event?
Whatever do you mean?
Well, in the past they were involved in the formation of the Barbie Liberation Organization (the group swapped the voiceboxes from Barbies into GI Joes...and vice versa...and then placed the altered toys back on the shelves to be sold to unsuspecting customers).
They made Dow Chemical admit---very publicly—that they had no intention of compensating the victims of the Bhopal Disaster...and they did it by faking Dow’s admissions of guilt, announcing a fake compensation plan...on the BBC...along with the fake “requisite apology”...which forced Dow to announce that the Bhopal victims are getting nothing.
They also manage to get invited to conferences as representatives of the WTO from time to time (it all has to do with a confusing website they created back in the day...); proposing such things as “compassionate slavery” and the Halliburton SurvivaBall.
One of the greatest comedians ever: Buddy Hackett. Check out this video of Hackett, from the 1960s, explaining to Dean Martin how he found out his wife was pregnant. (She sent him for pizza pie...)
Retro-cool and absolutely hilarious, it is.
The clip has nothing to do with anything else in this story...and despite that, it could not fit into the context of the story more perfectly.
The last big prank for which The Yes Men raised funds had them (this time as fake representatives of Exxon/Mobil) proposing—at Canada’s largest annual energy conference--to use dead humans as an alternative energy source. During the event they handed out to the audience candles made from Vivolium, the new dead human fuel they had developed...and your donations paid for the candles.
Here’s the description from the email I received:
“Your donation [to this site] will make it possible for
us to print and distribute up to hundred thousand copies of, um,
something. We can't tell you what it is, but we can say it'll happen
well before the Presidential election, that it's fantastic and funny
and smart, and that it aims to change the discussion from just managing
the Iraq War, to ending it, with all that that would mean for the US as
well. Because this war has been a disaster not just for Iraq.
If you give us money (any amount is helpful), we'll make sure you get a
copy. And if you live in the New York area and would like to be part of
this action, please write newyork@theyesmen.org.”
So here’s your chance to get directly involved in...something...just in time to influence the election—and to have a lot of fun doing it.
Ever wish you had been a Merry Prankster?
40 years later, here’s your chance.
So that’s today’s story: there’s a free Michael Moore movie available in a few days...and there’s a fantastic opportunity to put the money you saved on movie tickets, jujubes, and popcorn to good use.
Having fun while doing good—who doesn’t love that idea?
Saturday, June 2, 2007
On The Challenges Of The Future, Or, Meet The SurvivaBall
It is now well understood that the economy of the future will be profoundly affected by the coming changes brought on by alteration of the Earth’s climate.
The rising sea levels, desertification, and the likely change of Europe into an Arctic climate all suggest enormous migrations, competition for newly scarce resources, and the eventual conflicts that follow will all be an important part of the story of the 21st Century.
As we learned during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, civil disorder can follow a natural disaster unless on-site management is present to assess the situation, direct the recovery, and, most importantly, identify opportunities for private-sector entities to interface profitably with FEMA, the Department of Defense, and other Federal contract providers.
As often happens in times of exigency, the marketplace has acted, and an exciting new tool for crisis management has become available from America’s greatest expert in international “situational support”.
Did you attend the LexisNexis Catastrophic Loss Conference this past May 8th and 9th, at the fabulous Ritz-Carlton Amelia Island, Florida?
If you did, and you got up early for the 9:00 AM “Disaster Preparedness: How To Plan and React to a Catastrophic Event” seminar you were treated to a fantastic demonstration of the SurvivaBall, presented by Fred S. Wolf and Dr. Northrop Goody of the Halliburton Corporation; previously of Texas, and currently a newly settled corporate citizen of Dubai.
SurvivaBall, you ask?
In a nutshell, here’s the concept:
A single-occupant, self-sustained, inflatable “pod” (think “Boy In The Bubble” here), containing environmental, communication/data acquisition, defensive, and other operational systems. A pod that offers multiple means of locomotion for the occupant; and the ability, due to the robust design, to allow managers to function on-site in virtually any circumstances with complete efficiency and safety.
“It is essentially a gated community for one” Mr. Wolf told the attendees.
For those interested, the “usage and safety card” explaining the basic systems of the Model X7 SurvivaBall can be viewed here.
As those who viewed the card noted, the SurvivaBall has extraordinary capabilities that put this device truly in a class by itself.
First, of course, is the ability of the pod to obtain power from either wind or tidal forces (through the use of the detachable propeller fans), or, if no other means is present, the ability to capture power from living animals.
Even more interesting, however, is the application of a concept pioneered by coral-the ability to aggregate individual SurvivaBalls into a multi-dimensional self-contained and limitlessly scalable structure that can adapt to any management challenge.
Would this technology be prohibitively expensive?
Only if you ignore the upside potential.
Consider this: if Halliburton had been able to deploy managers in SurvivaBalls during Hurricane Katrina’s landfall, then as soon as the weather cleared, Halliburton could have landed a contract with FEMA for security services that could have brought in billions of dollars in additional revenue-even if no real risk existed. After all, Halliburton managers would be the only outside personnel functioning on the scene, meaning FEMA’s perceptions of the security situation could be effectively managed in the most profitable way possible.
How many of you knew all of this was satire?
How many of you know “The Yes Men”?
For those who don’t, it’s time for an introduction.
The public suffers when corporations are able to “disguise” their real identities, and The Yes Men are specialists in “identity correction”. To quote the website:
“Honest people impersonate big-time criminals in order to publicly humiliate them. Targets are leaders and big corporations who put profits ahead of everything else.”
Here’s another example:
Dow Chemical is associated with the disaster that affected the citizens of Bhopal, India, due to its merger with Union Carbide. Neither company has ever acknowledged liability; a page posted by Union Carbide asserting the Indian state government of Madhya Pradesh is the current responsible party can be seen here.
Enter The Yes Men.
A series of actions were launched against Dow, including this:
On the 20th anniversary of the disaster, a Yes Man, impersonating Dow Chemical corporate representative "Jude Finisterra", made an announcement on BBC World Television that Dow had admitted liability, planned to offer compensation to all victims by selling all its corporate assets, and would become a generally better corporate citizen going forward.
The international uproar resulting from that incident forced Dow to issue a press release to confirm, publicly, that they do not intend to compensate anyone, and that nothing had changed.
Now, here’s the crazy part. The group has been able to effectively mimic opposition websites, in order to spread a more “corrected” message about the target. This causes confusion not only amongst members of the general public, but in the corporate world as well. As a result, they are invited to speak at conferences by those who think they are representatives of the actual target company. (As was the case at the Loss Conference.)
This is how “Erastus Hamm” came to appear at a London banking conference, announcing that Dow had introduced “Acceptable Risk”; a software tool that allowed companies to determine exactly how much corporate malpractice might be acceptable in various regions of the world, as long as sufficient profit can be identified. (The fake “Mr. Hamm”, an unaware South African banker, and fake Dow’s mascot Gilda, the Acceptable Risk Golden Skeleton can all be seen posing in this group photo from the event.)
This is not the first identity correction the group has performed. The hilarious movie “The Yes Men” documents the outcomes of previous successful efforts in spoofing George W. Bush’s and the WTO’s web presence, including a masterful prank that placed a “WTO” representative on CNBC.
The sophistication of these actions is stunning-costume design, the “presence” they create, the message they put into the public mind...it’s just amazing.
Which, finally, brings me to my point.
I am in receipt of an email from the group that informs me that “an event” will soon occur, but that a considerable amount of preparation will first be required.
So I am asking those of you who might support such an undertaking to consider making a small donation (or a giant one, if you’re George Soros, for example) to The Yes Men.
For purposes of disclosure, I am not personally involved beyond the fact of writing this story, and that I am an owner of the DVD I mentioned above.
So that’s my story-good people are trying to change the world, one prank at a time, and if we don’t give them a hand, we might someday see a real SurvivaBall out there.
The rising sea levels, desertification, and the likely change of Europe into an Arctic climate all suggest enormous migrations, competition for newly scarce resources, and the eventual conflicts that follow will all be an important part of the story of the 21st Century.
As we learned during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, civil disorder can follow a natural disaster unless on-site management is present to assess the situation, direct the recovery, and, most importantly, identify opportunities for private-sector entities to interface profitably with FEMA, the Department of Defense, and other Federal contract providers.
As often happens in times of exigency, the marketplace has acted, and an exciting new tool for crisis management has become available from America’s greatest expert in international “situational support”.
Did you attend the LexisNexis Catastrophic Loss Conference this past May 8th and 9th, at the fabulous Ritz-Carlton Amelia Island, Florida?
If you did, and you got up early for the 9:00 AM “Disaster Preparedness: How To Plan and React to a Catastrophic Event” seminar you were treated to a fantastic demonstration of the SurvivaBall, presented by Fred S. Wolf and Dr. Northrop Goody of the Halliburton Corporation; previously of Texas, and currently a newly settled corporate citizen of Dubai.
SurvivaBall, you ask?
In a nutshell, here’s the concept:
A single-occupant, self-sustained, inflatable “pod” (think “Boy In The Bubble” here), containing environmental, communication/data acquisition, defensive, and other operational systems. A pod that offers multiple means of locomotion for the occupant; and the ability, due to the robust design, to allow managers to function on-site in virtually any circumstances with complete efficiency and safety.
“It is essentially a gated community for one” Mr. Wolf told the attendees.
For those interested, the “usage and safety card” explaining the basic systems of the Model X7 SurvivaBall can be viewed here.
As those who viewed the card noted, the SurvivaBall has extraordinary capabilities that put this device truly in a class by itself.
First, of course, is the ability of the pod to obtain power from either wind or tidal forces (through the use of the detachable propeller fans), or, if no other means is present, the ability to capture power from living animals.
Even more interesting, however, is the application of a concept pioneered by coral-the ability to aggregate individual SurvivaBalls into a multi-dimensional self-contained and limitlessly scalable structure that can adapt to any management challenge.
Would this technology be prohibitively expensive?
Only if you ignore the upside potential.
Consider this: if Halliburton had been able to deploy managers in SurvivaBalls during Hurricane Katrina’s landfall, then as soon as the weather cleared, Halliburton could have landed a contract with FEMA for security services that could have brought in billions of dollars in additional revenue-even if no real risk existed. After all, Halliburton managers would be the only outside personnel functioning on the scene, meaning FEMA’s perceptions of the security situation could be effectively managed in the most profitable way possible.
How many of you knew all of this was satire?
How many of you know “The Yes Men”?
For those who don’t, it’s time for an introduction.
The public suffers when corporations are able to “disguise” their real identities, and The Yes Men are specialists in “identity correction”. To quote the website:
“Honest people impersonate big-time criminals in order to publicly humiliate them. Targets are leaders and big corporations who put profits ahead of everything else.”
Here’s another example:
Dow Chemical is associated with the disaster that affected the citizens of Bhopal, India, due to its merger with Union Carbide. Neither company has ever acknowledged liability; a page posted by Union Carbide asserting the Indian state government of Madhya Pradesh is the current responsible party can be seen here.
Enter The Yes Men.
A series of actions were launched against Dow, including this:
On the 20th anniversary of the disaster, a Yes Man, impersonating Dow Chemical corporate representative "Jude Finisterra", made an announcement on BBC World Television that Dow had admitted liability, planned to offer compensation to all victims by selling all its corporate assets, and would become a generally better corporate citizen going forward.
The international uproar resulting from that incident forced Dow to issue a press release to confirm, publicly, that they do not intend to compensate anyone, and that nothing had changed.
Now, here’s the crazy part. The group has been able to effectively mimic opposition websites, in order to spread a more “corrected” message about the target. This causes confusion not only amongst members of the general public, but in the corporate world as well. As a result, they are invited to speak at conferences by those who think they are representatives of the actual target company. (As was the case at the Loss Conference.)
This is how “Erastus Hamm” came to appear at a London banking conference, announcing that Dow had introduced “Acceptable Risk”; a software tool that allowed companies to determine exactly how much corporate malpractice might be acceptable in various regions of the world, as long as sufficient profit can be identified. (The fake “Mr. Hamm”, an unaware South African banker, and fake Dow’s mascot Gilda, the Acceptable Risk Golden Skeleton can all be seen posing in this group photo from the event.)
This is not the first identity correction the group has performed. The hilarious movie “The Yes Men” documents the outcomes of previous successful efforts in spoofing George W. Bush’s and the WTO’s web presence, including a masterful prank that placed a “WTO” representative on CNBC.
The sophistication of these actions is stunning-costume design, the “presence” they create, the message they put into the public mind...it’s just amazing.
Which, finally, brings me to my point.
I am in receipt of an email from the group that informs me that “an event” will soon occur, but that a considerable amount of preparation will first be required.
So I am asking those of you who might support such an undertaking to consider making a small donation (or a giant one, if you’re George Soros, for example) to The Yes Men.
For purposes of disclosure, I am not personally involved beyond the fact of writing this story, and that I am an owner of the DVD I mentioned above.
So that’s my story-good people are trying to change the world, one prank at a time, and if we don’t give them a hand, we might someday see a real SurvivaBall out there.
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