On Setting Things Straight, Or, An Open Letter To The United Kingdom

Dear The United Kingdom,

I just wanted to take a minute to say hello and to see how things have been for you lately, and to maybe bring you up to date on a bit of news from here.

Well, right off the bat, we hear you have a new Conservative Prime Minister and that his Party and Nick Clegg and the Lib Dems are in partnership, which I’m sure will be interesting; you probably heard that us Colonials are again having Tea Parties, which has also been very interesting.

I have a Godson who’s getting married this September, so we’re all talking about that, and I hear Graham Norton was even better than last year at hosting Eurovision, despite the fact that it’s…frankly, it’s Eurovision.

Oh, yeah…we also had a bit of an oil spill recently that you may have heard about—and hoo, boy; you should see how the Company that spilled the oil has been acting.

So before we go any farther I figured I’d let you know that we did get that letter from John Napier over the weekend, and to tell you the truth, we’re not really sure John understands exactly what’s going on over here.

Now it turns out that it was some company called BP that’s been out there in the Gulf of Mexico operating the oil rig that blew up, killing eleven people and leading to that uncontrollable geyser of oil that you may be hearing about, and our dear Mr. Napier worries that when we say we’re angry with BP, we’re being anti-British.

If anyone should see John, would you please let him know that nothing could be further from the truth?

I promise you, you would be hard pressed to find one single solitary American getting up this morning, seeing the live feed from the oil leak on TV, and thinking: “That BP is scandalously representing Britain, and for that I hate the British”.

I’ll tell what we are thinking, though, is that as bad as this situation is, BP’s been making it a lot worse by, time after time, being either amazingly unaware of or brazenly dishonest about what’s been going on.

Remember back in May when BP said they were capturing 5000 barrels of oil a day with their new containment procedure—while still claiming on the very same day that the total amount of the leak was 5000 barrels a day, even though anyone who could look at the image from the leak could clearly see with their own two eyes that what BP was saying could not possibly be correct?

I don’t know how far the word’s gotten out over there yet, but now even the “Daily Mail” (not the “Guardian”, for God’s sakes… but the “Daily Mail”) says it looks like BP guessed low on the amount that’s leaking into the Gulf by somewhere between 15,000 and 35,000 barrels a day…which, to us, looks like either incredibly bad guessing or an incredibly bad effort to deny how bad things really are.

You’ll love this, United Kingdom: BP continues to insist that there are no underwater “plumes” of oil in the Gulf, even though the people on the scene measuring them, and the US Government agency mapping them, say there are.

The BP position, as I understand it, rests on the definition of “plume”…and when you consider that Americans still make fun of Bill Clinton, to this very day, for basing his impeachment defense on what the definition of “is” is, you shouldn’t be too surprised if we treat BP precisely the same way for doing the same thing.

This isn’t the first disaster for BP in this country, either. You may not remember, but just about five years ago BP blew up a refinery in Texas, killing 15 workers, and just afterward had another major spill, this time in Alaska.

The US Government levied an astonishingly large £53 million fine against BP in 2009 for not fixing the problems that led to the 2005 refinery disaster.

That puts the five-year casualty total for BP at way too many people dead, two habitats wounded, and one refinery in critical condition.

If you think that’s bad, United Kingdom, it now looks like BP just made up the spill response plan that they would be putting in place now…if they had been telling the truth about their ability to execute the plan in the first place.

Now if you put all that together…don’t you think somebody’s ass needs to be kicked? Mr. Obama does, and we find that a refreshing change from Mr. Bush, who would have likely done a "heckuva job" himself in the same situation.

Mr. Napier wanted us to know that we’re personalizing this a bit too much; he reminds us that:

“If you compare the damage inflicted on the economies of the western world by polluted securities from the irresponsible, unchecked greed and avarice of leading USA international banks, there has not been the same personalized response in or from countries beyond the US. Perhaps a case of double standards?”

John, babe…if you think we’re lacking in “anger personalization”, perhaps you’ve never actually heard of the Tea Party? I know the "Daily Mail" has, and I’m surprised you missed it.

Perhaps you missed the left-leaning protesters in San Francisco that want to put the CEOs of banks in jail, or the protesters in West Virginia, of all places, or in Boston?

Perhaps you don’t think there’s a reason to take it a bit personally when someone kills a couple of dozen people or so in some sort of preventable accident or another, but over here, whether it’s a mine operator or BP, we do take it personally.

Trust me, there’s no double standard: ask almost any American and they’ll tell you they’d be equally happy to see either a Wall Street or a BP executive forced to spend several years in a really tiny jail cell with someone who has a prior record of doing disturbing things to small forest creatures.

OK, United Kingdom, now here’s a chance for you to do the Company a favor: BP announced just a couple of days ago that they have no earthly idea why their stock price might be going down.

With just the least little effort, we could fix that problem right away.

If any of you might be in London, and don’t mind making a local call for me, would you kindly ring up BP corporate headquarters at +44 (0)20 7496 4000, and when they answer, just let them know that the stock price is going down because of the oil leak and what it’s doing to the perception that BP will be as profitable in the future as they had been in the past?

I’m sure they’d be so appreciative of the assistance that they might even give you a cool BP hat or something just for helping them out—I know I would, if I were BP.

Anyway, I’m hoping this will clear up some of Mr. Napier’s questions, but before I go, I have to ask you about something:

They tell me that BP stock is a huge part of the UK’s investment portfolio; and that lots of pension funds are dependent on the stream of revenue BP dividends represent.

So dependent, in fact, that there is a great hue and cry over the possibility that BP might not be able to pay a dividend to its shareholders.

So here’s what I was wondering: in the US, if a company in which you were invested suffered a loss that might reach beyond £30 billion, it’s supposed to have a negative impact on the stockholders. It’s almost certainly going to affect any potential dividend distribution, and a company like that might find itself taken over by a stronger competitor.

Doesn’t it work that way in the UK?

I’m sorry that those folks got caught in a bad investment, and maybe the UK Government wants to extend some sort of assistance to those affected; nonetheless I can’t understand the legal logic behind the proposition that cleaning up the mess that BP caused and the payment of compensation claims based on BP’s reckless actions should have a lower priority than the distribution of income to stockholders.

To put it as simply as possible: lots of players in the UK markets were happy to accept the profits from this investment, despite the risks, and now it’s time to accept a loss. That’s how investing works; and if no one else has told you that by now, well…welcome to investing.

And while UK pensioners are worried about losing some income, American workers—thousands of them—are worried that they’ll be out of work for months, and maybe years, with no income at all, except for that provided by BP…unless they go broke and can’t pay.

So that’s what’s been going on here since I wrote you last, and I hope you do get a chance to call BP about that whole stock going down thing, so they know, and I hope you don’t think we’re in any way upset with Britain at all, ‘cause we are truly not.

British Petroleum, however, is a different story; and based on the record we feel that our anger is entirely justified…but that would have been just as true if it had been Chevron or Anadarko or any other deepwater driller—just as it was true for Exxon after the Exxon Valdez incident two decades ago.

Anyway, I have to go now, but I’ll try not to wait so long before I write again; and I hope BP is able to contain this stuff before it begins washing up on your beaches, which, believe it or not, is a distinct possibility.

As always, your friend,

fake

On Touring The World, Or, Blogging-It’s A Collective Thing

For the past two weeks we have paid more attention to the rest of the world than usual, what with the Olympics drawing our attention to Asia, and the conflict in the Balkans forcing us to learn that Atlanta is not in danger…that indeed, there is another Georgia—and how events in that Georgia could affect life in our Georgia.

As it happens, I belong to an international blogging collective (the Blogpower community) with voices that happen to be especially well-placed and often powerful to boot…a combination that will be most helpful for today’s exercise.

We are going to take a journey, Gentle Reader, all the way from India to Australia. We’ll visit Canadian friends, then we have much to discuss in the UK…and we get to meet a friend in the Sudan—and just for fun, we’ll toss in a few discussion questions based on Russian history.

Finally, through the miracle of Facebook, we’ll meet an actual volunteer soldier from South Ossetia who will describe the Georgian attack on his city.

There’s a lot to cover, so put on your travel hat, grab your virtual passport, and let’s hit the road.

There are 61 bloggers currently associated with Blogpower, but we will only be visiting about 20 of those today. There’s a full list of the community members available, and I would encourage you to dive in to the list and visit all of them.

And speaking of visiting…

Kori Brus, publisher of “The Conscious Earth”, has been travelling India these past few weeks, from south to north, and now finds himself in Ladakh, an area of India that is primarily Buddhist…and covered by a far more extensive network of trekking routes than highways.

He tells us that despite the fact that India is a nation of more than 900 million people, it is quite solitary indeed for him on this trip…which has advantages he might not have anticipated as he visits a temple around the time of morning prayers.

We continue with the theme of culture and religion on a visit to Vancouver, British Columbia, where we find jmb’s “Nobody Important” blog awaiting our arrival.

In May of 2008 the city’s Museum of Anthropology was robbed, the object of the theft being spectacular pieces created by Bill Reid, an artist of Haida descent who trained as a sculptor and a goldsmith. (His work can also be seen at the Canadian Embassy in Washington, D.C., should you get the chance to visit.)

Some of the objects had been recovered, but I am now happy to report (again, courtesy of jmb) that when it comes to art thievery, the Mounties get their brooch; with all the missing objects now recovered. (Well, to be exact, a fraction of one object is missing…so visit the link for details, he said, teasingly.)

Ruthie “Zaftig” offers us a tour of the morality questions present in the movie “The Dark Knight” that begins as a general discussion of good and evil, but then becomes an evaluation of how terror affects human judgment—and addresses the additional question of how much freedom should we be willing to sacrifice for security…which might be the freedom to live in fear.

For your consideration: would Peter the Great have made a good “Dark Knight” Batman? Try to include a few words regarding the “Tsar as Father Figure” mythology in your response…

Immorality also figures in a story from Khartoum: Kizzie explains how bribery is endemic in Sudan—and she tells us how a judge was apparently bribed in an eviction case that has cost her family three years of their time, thousands of dollars in legal fees…and had them wondering if hiring a few well-armed “friends” to resolve the problem “extrajudicially” might have been the better solution.

She also reminds us of the death of Levy Mwanawasa, President of Zambia—one of two notable recent deaths in the region; the other being the death of Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish. Both are major events unreported in US media…so visit the links and follow these stories.

In Iran the level of repression applied to union activists is increasing…and as of now the crime of union organizing can get you 30 lashes…or 50…or 70…plus jail time. Or it could get you the death penalty.

All of this is reported to us by our man in Corkadorogha, Ireland (…”where the the torrential rains are more torrential, the squalor more squalid, the hopelessness more utterly hopeless than they are anywhere else”…), Jams “The Poor Mouth” O’Donnell. (By the way Jams: “rains more torrential”? Spend a year in the rainforest around Queets, Washington and you may reconsider that position…)

Everyone is blogging these days…including a former Deputy Prime Minister of the UK, John Prescott (fired by Tony Blair, no less!). Mike Ion, himself a former Labour candidate for Parliament (from Shrewsbury…home of Darwin and the Cartoon Festival), discusses the impact of the growth in the medium on UK politics and beyond—and for those who don’t know, there is as much reaction to political bloggers over there as there is over here…and in the UK, that makes Mike Ion a bit of a “must read”.

All citizens of England have access to health care, unlike the US, but this is hardly a perfect situation. Should we hope to adopt a national health care model we might do well to learn from their experience, and some of that insight can be found in the following two stops on our tour:

An agency of the NHS (the UK’s National Health Service) that tries to balance the costs and benefits of drugs and procedures that the NHS will pay for is the subject of a recent discussion at the “Letters From A Tory” blog.

CalumCarr has been telling us for years now about the troubles faced by those who seek help from the NHS for mental disorders (a problem that has touched his own family), and a new report from the Mental Welfare Commission for Scotland describes grievous flaws in the system—including a case of “Not My Problem” culture that is so serious that the report itself is entitled "Not My Problem - The Care and Treatment of Mr. G".

Leadership is sometimes a matter of committee, and we are given the view from the other side of the table as Grendel recounts his experience on hiring and purchasing committees. We learn a bit of British slang (“…use the word “prat” in a sentence, please…”), we consider the absurdity of dreams, and we are offered a few words on unintentional non-disclosure disclosures.

Have you ever wanted to go to a job interview and tell the interviewer you’re looking for a new job because you hate your current job? You have a friend in Grendel.

The UK portion of the journey continues as we visit Sackerson’s “Bearwatch” blog. He reminds us that our desire to restrain Government through the vehicle of the Constitution is well-recognized—and well-respected—around the world…and he brings to the table a question raised in this election cycle by Ron Paul: what is legal tender?

For your consideration: what effect would a strict Constitutional reading of “legal tender” have on credit expansion? Would we, on balance, have been better off with such an interpretation? A few words on the impact of home ownership on personal wealth—good and bad—would add some “seasoning” to the rhetorical stew you could create…

Theo Spark’s friends (the “Last of the Few”) combine Conservative thought with the sorts of adult images (adult images is code for “maybe the younger kids shouldn’t be going there unsupervised…”—you have been officially warned) that one might see on Page 3 of a British newspaper; and the blog makes the point that Basra is on the road to reconstruction through the use of a striking image taken in the At Tannumah district of the city.

The great “what is mind versus what is matter?” debate, originally begun by Descartes and Hobbes (and later revisited by Homer Simpson), is one element of a conversation from Gracci at the “Westminster Wisdom” blog. Can security ever exist for the masses when the masses are ruled by anyone other than an autocrat? That question, also addressed by Hobbes, is an important second pillar of the sturdy philosophical structure presented in this piece.

For your consideration: is security worth the cost? Just how much cost might you be willing to accept for how much security? Can anything actually approaching total security be achieved, or does the effort to create total security inevitably create insecurity? Using the Russian word grozny correctly in your answer will get you extra points…

We need to take a step back from all of this deep thinking, and my friend Colin Campbell has just what we need. His “Adelaide Green Porridge Café” blog features an image of military maneuvers that make me wonder if the Australian commander might be smarter than ours. (I’d also be curious what the commander has to say about global warming…).

Is Wales a part of the UK? Or is it, like the Duchy of Cornwall, destined to be an independent nation? “Miss Wagstaff Presents” this issue, and others, in her ongoing quest to analyze the question of whether the political relationship with the UK is serving the Welsh people…or instead, serving only the political needs of the Labour Party. (For those unsure, Wales is located roughly 20 miles east of Dublin, just across the Irish Sea. It’s the same Wales that has a famous Prince.)

Tesco, the UK’s largest retailer (and fifth in the world in 2006), is the source of the next bit of humor, thanks to “Sally in Norfolk”…and I will consider this story every time I freeze a grill. (She also visits a lead mine…another fascinating story.)

“Hercules” notes the considerable resemblance between the current Governor of Virginia, Tim Kaine, and the only current resident of the Meadowlands end zone, Jimmy Hoffa.

Which brings us to the final stop on our tour.

Ellee Seymour wants us to visit the “ProActive PR” blog and meet Alan, a 26 year-old student who was in Tskhinvali, the largest city in Georgia’s disputed South Ossetia region when Georgian forces advanced on the city.

Power had been mostly cut off, as had water, but Alan was able to send messages by cell phone which Ellee’s friend Katarina was able to translate into English. The story begins August 4th, where he describes seeing three dead bodies, victims of either Georgian mortars or artillery fire.

The diary gives an hour-by-hour recap of the events of August 7th, including a street battle just a few blocks away—and a description of being so tired that grenade explosions up the block could not wake Alan up.

The diary includes pictures taken on scene…and no matter what you may think of the positions of either side, this is a soldier’s story in the end…and that makes it a very human story, indeed.

Well there you go: we’ve seen a bit of the world, we have some things to think about…and we had a few laughs to boot.

If you have nothing to declare, continue through Customs to catch your ride home…and thanks for flying Blogpower.

On Communal Blogging, Or, Today, Education And Promotion Merge

We are forever being reminded that Americans need to know more about our neighbors around the world...and if you’re reading this, we already know you understand the value of seeking out new perspectives—and that reading the work of bloggers is an excellent way to acquire new knowledge.

If you put all that together, it appears that the missing link in the process of learning more about other countries might just be the lack of a finger to point out some quality bloggers who are able to provide some of the insight we seek (and if any of my Middle Eastern friends are around I’ll point an outstretched hand, instead of the finger, just to be polite...).

Those of you who have graced my personal blog with your presence might have noticed the invitation to “visit the Blogpower community” over there on the left-hand margin; and that’s where we will find everything we need to make this world tour happen.

We’ll also discuss a few recent items of world knowledge that have come to my attention thanks to the work of my communal friends...and then: a shameful admission of my own blissful ignorance.

Put it all together, and a good time should be had by all.

Since this is at heart a tour, our first two stops are to places where our guides are not especially political, but instead lifestyle observers.

Which leads to our first story.

You may not know it, but if you live in Sicily there’s a strong probability that your house is not connected to a water distribution system. Sicilians instead rely on water trucks to deliver water to the cistern that serves your residence. There are many who live in villas with other families, which means you and your neighbors share water.

And occasionally, you run out.

And because it’s Sicily, getting the water is a story all its own. There are public water trucks and private water trucks...and waiting lists...and days the water “isn’t being delivered”.

All this and more I’ve learned thanks to a transplanted teacher from Wales who is now publishing Sicily Scene. Even better, "Welshcakes Limoncello" spends lots of her time in fantastic little cafés, takes the time to show us pictures of what they’re serving...and really offers a feel of what it is to be her neighbor.

If we grab a fez, jump across the Mediterranean, and hang a quick right over to the west coast of Africa we’ll be in Rabat, Morocco; which is where Lady MacLeod’s truly delightful “Braveheart Does The Maghreb” walks us through souks, talks about the role of the woman in an Islamic society (a theme to which we will return at the end of the discussion), adds an occasional dose of cultural intrigue...and even romance.

Another transplant—this time a Scot who has “expatriated" her way across Europe, South Asia, North America...and now, with her daughter, Africa; and who apparently is riding a pretty good lucky streak.

She told a tale a few months back of making a date for dinner...but the date was not at a restaurant.

She reports instead that she was taken by her beau to the beach, where a traditional Bedouin tent had been erected. She tells us of the night, and the fires, and the music...and the scented breeze coming through the tent on the balmy Moroccan night.

When you read her work, you begin to understand why Winston Churchill had such a love affair with the Hotel Mamounia...and why George Patton has been credited with describing Morocco as "a cross between Hollywood...and the Bible”.

(Make sure you read the story of the wedding in Fez.)

There are struggles for autonomy throughout the world—including just “across the pond” in the UK. Cornwall is seeking to find their unique niche in this picture, making “The Cornish Democrat” essential visiting.

The Duchy of Cornwall is located in the far southwest corner of England (the English Los Angeles it’s not, just in case the question came up...); and there are those who argue the case that Cornwall’s accession into the UK was involuntary. They further argue that the Duke of Cornwall seems to be the current legal Sovereign, or in the alternative that the People of Cornwall are the legal holders of power.

If proponents have their way the status of Cornwall might resemble that of Ireland, Scotland...or maybe even the Isle of Man.

Were you aware that the UK is debating whether or not to require compulsory education for 17 and 18 year olds? It’s a fact: at the moment many leave school at the age of 16 to enter the workforce. As you might imagine, the debate centers around issues of cost and competitive position in the world marketplace...and strangely enough, the Conservative party does not support the initiative, and the Liberals do.

And then there’s the parking story.

Health care is provided by the UK Government to the citizens, and the National Health Service is perennially short of funds. Premiums and co-pays are theoretically out of bounds...which apparently means the “employee of the month” award goes to the one who is most creative at inventing new revenue streams...which is why the UK government booked nearly $200 million last year (minus the cost of the framed “employee of the month” photo and the little brass plaque) by charging patients to park at NHS facilities.

Call it a tax, call it a co-pay (for the benefit of our UK friends, a co-pay is what insurance companies make us pay for our health care at the time of the doctor’s visit--and it can be up to 50% of the cost of care)....either way it’s a new expense that’s making UK citizens sick—of the NHS.

Mike Ion brings that and more—including discussions of the problems students encounter with school assignments, questions about liberation theology, and an interesting take on the UK voting age...and that’s just in the last week.

Our final guide will show us what life is like for an Islamic woman living in the Sudan.

One of the very first stories I ever read from Kizzie was a conversation about the stratification of status among those who wear the burka or abiya. It was astonishing for me to discover that women who are not veiled often look down on those who do; that they see them as “country bumpkins” who are unable to make their own decisions.

But this is the part of the story where I have to admit my own foolish behavior.

Just a few days ago I was visiting Kizzie’s blog, and she had a few questions about our esteemed President. To make a long story short, the basic thrust of the interrogation was related to Mr. Bush’s lack of understanding about the region.

Always trying to be helpful, I sent a long comment to Kizzie remarking that the ignorance problem she cites is not just Mr. Bush’s, but all of ours. And then I got stupid. I went on to comment that Mr. Bush probably knows very little about Kizzie’s country beyond what he saw in “Blackhawk Down”.

And then I sent the comment away.

And then I re-read what I had written...which meant that I had to quickly write another comment pointing out my own foolishness, and suggesting that my foible is exactly the sort of ignorance that often drives America’s foreign policy mistakes.

“Sudan...Somalia...what’s the difference?” is exactly the sort of dimnitude that has made “The Ugly American” a worldwide joke, and your friendly fake consultant apologizes to Kizzie and all her Sudanese friends for my foolish remark.

But it does reinforce the point.

We, as Americans, need to take the time to learn something about all the world...and if we do, our efforts at foreign policy might get a bit easier, fewer of the world’s citizens might see Americans as targets...and we might even make some new friends along the way.

Not to mention knowing in advance which of Sicily’s cafés offer the best desserts.