On An Alternative Mother's Day, Or, How Much Is That Dog Bone In The Window?

The whole thing started with a dog bone.

A gift wrapped dog bone, to be exact.

My girlfriend and I had only been a couple for maybe one or two years when the first shot was fired across the bow-by her mother.

She sends these crazy Christmas packages every year, and that was the year she sent me the bone. Oh, there was no mistake-the gift tag was quite clear about that. She also sends things like the “world’s tiniest boombox”, and little crazy toys, and 16-function flashlights...you get the idea.

Obviously a response was in order, and next Christmas it was delivered: the dog bone wreath (more or less 50 dog bones strung around a hoop, with a lovely ribbon), was enclosed in our return box. I had spent months searching for the perfect return message, and just by happenstance it turned up at the flower shop.

Somehow the Bosley Group had, by this time, taken an interest in my receding hairline. Every week or so my mailbox had Bosley’s newest advice about “restoring more than just hair”. There was sudden new mail regarding my interest in curing my problems with enuresis. A certain $7 a month life insurance company was, out of the blue, interested in my life. Now I knew (or at least I was pretty sure I knew-I have been forgetful on occasion...) that I wasn’t signing up for this stuff, and it was fairly obvious that escalation was going to be required. And I was willing to escalate.

I admit, before proceeding, that innocent trees were harmed by this portion of my story, and I apologize for those who will take offense at my actions. Unfortunately war will result in collateral damage, and this was quickly becoming war.

The Wall Street Journal provides a handy service for those wishing the opportunity to peruse the annual reports of major corporations, and I went ahead and signed her up for the service. Suddenly, she was telling my girlfriend (who by this time was firmly established as The Girlfriend) on the phone about being inundated by reports from Switzerland, for God’s sake, and who knows where else...about 75 in total found their way to her door over the period of a few months. I had apparently impressed her with this attack, and she knew she was facing a worthy opponent.

Just to bring a sense of perspective: this is not an angry war by any means. Imagine instead, the 1859 Pig War between the US and Britain-a bit of muscle flexing, but nothing serious.

The crazy gifts continued-in both directions. We love (uncompensated endorsement ahead) the Archie McPhee store (your best source for Zombie Brain Gelatin molds, Corn Dog air fresheners, and Avenging Narwhal Play Sets!), and have, over the years, sent a substantial portion of their inventory to The Girlfiend’s mother-including Nunzilla (a wind-up sparking nun who would probably spank Mothra with a ruler if he got out of hand...but I digress).

As a joke, I reminded her that if I really had wanted to escalate I would have donated $10 to a televangelist and asked for financial advice-but I’m not that mean.

She was.

The Crystal Cathedral, it turns out, is in pretty much constant need of repairs and expansion, and it costs a fortune to keep Dr. Schuller on the air. It was also costing him a fortune to send me, in a most determined manner, missives urging my support of the various emergencies down there at the old Cathedral. I’m not kidding either-that is some determined bunch of fundraisers on that crew.

It was time to roll with a serious response now-and I had my army ready.

My army of free samples.
Deodorant, tampons, and my personal second favorite, Attends, all began to descend upon her mailbox. It was actually starting to have an effect-she was expressing concern about what the mailman would think about her...

Ever read the ads in the back of Food Technology magazine?
I do.

Which is how I found the best thing yet-the sample of artificial lard (yes, artificial lard) that turned up in the surprisingly heavy box on her doorstep one afternoon, all warm in the San Diego summer.

Caught her by surprise, that one did.
“Where the hell did he find that?!” was the basic tenor of the response.

Somewhere around this time the cards began to be addressed to “Sonny”.
This was the first indication that I was winning...

We‘ve been at this so long that the “everything old becomes new again” theory has come to pass. Consider this: one Christmas she sent me the “Bushwhacker”-a three foot tall inflatable “bop bag” with George Bush’s image. George H.W. Bush. 20 years later, it’s just as good a present as it was then.

Over the years shopping for gifts has evolved from a “tit for tat” to shopping for “necessities”. The most recent package, having arrived Thursday, is a perfect example-See’s candy gift certificates (she’s apparently the only person who gets 4 pounds of “Scotchmallow”-and nothing else) being the most important item of all. But lately, she’s begun to watch DVDs of the films she enjoyed in times past. (12 Shirley Temple movies really hit the spot last year...). The wind-up pig that poops jellybeans was a hit, but the “peas and carrots” candy mix-not so much...

Shopping no longer fits around holidays, either, which is why I have to pick up a copy of “Gigi” this week-we’re already starting a new box the week after sending the old box. (She actually reads these stories, so no surprise package this time, I suppose.)

So that’s my Mother’s Day story-a story that started with me getting a gift-wrapped doggie bone, and finds me today having gained a second Mom.

Author’s Note: Your friendly fake consultant took an unexpected week off, and with the exception of watching the Gonzales hearings, had little to do with the “real” world; and I would encourage all of you to do the same. I will be returning with “real world” stories as the week progresses.

A Fake Consultant Field Trip: John Edwards Visits The Fighting Trojans

It was a cool spring afternoon, the sun peeking out from behind occasionally gray and ominous patches of clouds.

The kind of spring day that carries the hope of renewal-the time of the season when it seems every team has a shot at the pennant.

The wind was blowing from right to left-the kind of wind that favors the batter.
You just knew the ball would be flyin’ out of the old yard today.

The old yard-Everett Memorial Stadium-is the home of one of the best logos in baseball: the home of the Aquasox. (Go Frogs!)

As far as I know, this is the only professional baseball team to ever take the field in tie-dye, and the “Frogstock” uniforms are a look that’s ready for “the show”.

But that doesn’t matter today.

Today we’re headed across town, to Everett Community College, the home of the Trojans, because John Edwards is expected in an hour or so.

Everett, Washington, is a former timber “hub” located more or less 30 miles up I-5 from Seattle, where logs floated downriver from the Cascade Mountains to be processed in the timber and pulp mills. As the forested land decreased, so has the processing activity downstream, and the formerly prosperous town has had to work to gain back that lost income.

Naval Station Everett, opened in 1994, supports an aircraft carrier and several other ships.

This is the city where the railroad serving the Pacific Coast makes a right turn to Chicago, but that’s hardly Everett’s biggest impact on world transportation.

That would be the Boeing assembly facility next to Paine Field, where 747, 767, and 777 subassemblies are merged into finished aircraft on production lines in the world’s largest building.

This is a blue collar town, big time.

And apparently, a town that was ready to meet John Edwards.

With an hour to go before the event, the line was already longer than the 300-seat capacity of the room. At a minimum, this would be a standing-room only crowd.

The room filled quickly, first the seats, then the standing room, then the space out behind the open door at the back of the room; and more folks showing up all the time. By my estimate between 550 and 600 turned out, for a Tuesday 2PM event.

In a move reminiscent of the Ellen DeGeneres Show, Edwards’ staffers were forced to open a Riff-Raff Room for the spillover crowd.

I expected to see an early 20’s college-age crowd, but that was not what I saw-instead, staffers were observed bringing in younger faces to seat early.

The average age of the crowd was probably closer to mid-to-late thirties, with substantial numbers of audience members who appeared to be in their 60’s or older. Much of that group (perhaps 30), were in nursing uniforms, and medical programs are offered at the school.

Edwards was late, having just attended a union town hall meeting, but it was accepted with good humor by the crowd, and the Mayor of Everett, Ray Stephanson; who had to endure a collective groan from the crowd as he was introduced as the third introducer of Edwards.

But now we introduce…

John Edwards.

Quickly: selected high points from the speech…

--The crowd strongly agreed with his exhortation that the Iraq spending bill be returned, with timelines, again and again, until it is signed. (As I’m writing a rumor is being offered that “timelines” will be replaced by “guidelines” in order to craft a deal, but I cannot verify this.)

--He suggested supporters and opponents alike consider joining One Corps-not necessarily to do politics, but if they wanted, to do politically agnostic “service” work for the common good.

--Edwards proposed the US spend $3-4 billion annually to educate citizens in other countries, as a form of foreign aid that would create affinity between those students and the US. In the Middle East, these schools would present an alternative to the madrassa system, he explained, and would help enhance US security long-term.

--He discussed the economic advantages of developing alternative fuel technologies here in the US, suggesting 1-2 million “green jobs” could be created.

--As he has often, he reminded the crowd: “You must be patriotic about something other than war”.

--“Distributed generation” and the idea of providing incentives to utility companies to compensate for lost sales caused by improved conservation efforts-wait a minute…what was that?

Yes, I said that correctly-Edwards wants to compensate the utilities for lost sales caused by conservation. Why? Otherwise there is no incentive for a utility to sell less electricity-no benefit to the producer for a change in the structure of the market, and the producer is less likely to cooperate. The crowd seemed to be in agreement.

Why conservation? We use 22 million barrels of oil a day, he reports; 12 million of that is imported.

--He again proposed a goal of 25% of electrical generation be supplied by alternative fuels, and a goal of 80% reduction in greenhouse gases by 2050.

--He discussed the “dysfunctional” nature of our health system, another topic that was well received by the crowd.

--A very popular proposal was his “college for everyone” national service initiative. It’s easy to explain: volunteer ten hours a week, and your tuition and books are paid for. It was not just students applauding this proposal, I might add.

I’m not going to walk through all the questions, but I’ll tell you the best, most honest answer I heard all day. When asked about RFID chips and their effect on privacy, Edwards, in an especially bold move, looked the questioner dead in the eye, and answered: “I don’t know.”

The questions answered, he did the crowd, and seemed (forgive me Hillary) to have a “Bill Clinton” crowd presence-the “acknowledge you to the exclusion of all others” kind of perceived genuine interest that seemed to serve him well in this crowd today.

Afterwards, Edwards came out back for a quick media huddle, and then once more he was off to shake hands-this time with the supporters who had been in the Riff-Raff room.

Then into the van, and off to another night on the rubber chicken circuit-the Law Day dinner being the fundraising stop for the evening.

So there you have it: the visiting player comes to town, makes a few pitches, fields a few questions-and looked like he might have knocked one out of the park.

Not a bad day at the old ballyard, if you ask me.

On Fighting Geothermal Energy, Or, This Is The Irony Of The Week

Suppose I told you that, in this time of energy uncertainty, the Federal Government is planning an alternative energy development.

Suppose I told you that this geothermal development was to be located near major military facilities, and that the troops from those locations are knee deep in Iraq problems.

Suppose I told you that in the communities surrounding the bases there’s a movement to stop the development.

To really make it good, suppose I told you the reason there’s resistance to the idea is because the location is part of an off-road vehicle recreation area.

That’s right, this is literally a fight between supporting our troops, improving our National Security posture, and fighting global warming on the one side; and driving SUVs that tow other vehicles to the desert for recreational oil burning on the other side.

And you kinow what?
That’s not even the biggest irony in this story...

Still reading?

Here’s the deal: the Ocotillo Wells State Vehicular Recreation Areas, which consists of about 80,000 acres of desert that is available for off-road driving, is on the boundary of California’s Imperial and San Diego Counties, and is part of the California State Park system.

There is Federal land (Bureau of Land Management) next door, and the BLM wants to develop a 50MW geothermal facility using Federal and State land. Here’s an aerial image of the site.

The Truckhaven development has a geothermal partner, Iceland America Energy, and they tell us 1200MW of geothermal capacity is currently in production in the region.

As we all know, geothermal energy is not a carbon burning resource, and it is renewable as well (from time to time new geothermal wells are drilled to replace wells currently producing).

Since it replaces imported oil, there’s even a National Security element to the project.

So who wouldn’t like that?

As it turns out, these guys.

San Diego’s off-road enthusiasts, we are told, will be deprived of 14,000+ acres of the current 80,000 acre off-road park, and maybe as much as 40,320 acres.

That sounds serious.
However, the truth is a bit different.

The Draft Environmental Impact Statement (DEIS) filed by the BLM presents a slightly different picture. In fact, they report that while 40,320 acres will be “disturbed”, the disturbance will only occur during the construction phase of the project.

Table 2-2 of the DEIS (located on page 52 of the document) indicates 502 acres, at the most, will be permanently removed from the available recreational land resource.

502 acres out of 80,000.

Not much to give up, if you ask me, to support the fights against Global Warming and imported oil.

Public comments are being accepted until April 30th by the BLM, and I would encourage you to drop a note expressing your feelings regarding the need for renewable energy resources.

Here’s the BLM email address: John_Dalton@ca.blm.gov

The good folks at San Diego Off-Road Magazine would also like a copy of the emails sent to the BLM, and they encourage you to send those to: editor@sandiegooffroad.com

Finally-remember the irony I promised?
Allow me to deliver.

The opponents of this project have military neighbors, as I mentioned earlier.

Know who?

How about Camp Pendleton, the Marine base, and the Naval facilities in San Diego (only the largest military base in the world, I might add.)

And guess what-when you go to San Diego Off-Road Magazine’s website, the “message” panel at the top left of your screen will read:

“FREE MAGAZINES FOR THE TROOPS”

That’s right-a magazine devoted to a hobby that is at least tangentially involved with the war the troops getting the free magazine are fighting is trying to rally its own troops to defend the right to recreationally burn oil being fought for by those same troops to whom they're sending the magazines.

Now that’s irony.

Quick Advice From A Fake Consultant: Listen To Burt Bacharach

Remember the Burt Bacharach song “Knowing When to Leave”?

For those who don’t, consider these lyrics:

Knowing when to leave may be the smartest thing anyone can learn…

And from the next chorus:

… Knowing when to leave will never let you reach the point of no return.

And every day someone mentions “artificial timetables”, that should be our answer.

And then we should offer this scenario to consider:

At the moment, Iraqis are fighting among each other. They are not a united nation, despite the wishes of this Administration.

More and more, the Iraqi population wants us out.
If we overstay our welcome, it is entirely possible the Iraqi people will unite.

To kill us.

Instead of an “outpost” for terrorism, we will have created a Shi'a-dominated united Iran-Iraq terror “nexus” that will turn on it’s Sunni and Kurdish neighbors first, then us.

Then the terrorists will follow us home.

Once again, to sum up:

The administration claims if we leave the outcome will be disastrous unless we can create a united Iraq.

Our response: if we don’t leave now, they will unite.
And that will be more disastrous than we can even imagine.

On Greener Trains, Or, Who Doesn't Love A Bargain?

Americans used to love their trains.

Casey Jones, the Golden Spike, the Wreck of the Old 97-all are a part of our legend, and even today trains are seen as a romantic link to another time.

These days, we see the future in trains.
There are a variety of new train concepts floating around-literally-and new variants of traditional designs as well.

There is one train concept, however, that has the potential to completely change all we know about moving people and freight.

It’s cheaper to build than any other current design, but more importantly, this concept appears to forever alter how we think of energy use for mass transit.

Having piqued your interest, let’s add background information to set the stage...

Virtually all trains you see today are operated by electric motors.

In the “standard” locomotive design, electricity for those motors is provided by generation onboard the train itself (diesel engines operate generators which are the electricity source).

Other designs use electricity provided through a centrally-generated electrical distribution system. The “third rail” familiar to subway riders is one form of distribution. Overhead (catenary) wires are another, and the United States Capitol subway system offers an example of this method.

As of today, virtually all passengers and freight move by one of these designs.

The biggest changes on the horizon involve ways to move passengers faster

The Japanese “bullet trains” (Shinkansen), introduced in 1964, are a “steel-wheel-on-steel-rail” system-essentially a “standard” train on steroids. These trains require dedicated and fenced right-of-ways, special rail installations, and no contact with other traffic (no railroad crossings, for example).

These trains normally operate at about 200 mph, and they typically operate between destinations that are 100 to 500 miles apart.

The fastest of these trains, the French TGV, set a world speed record of 357 mph just about 3 weeks ago (April 3rd).

There is another design you might be familiar with, the “magnetic levitation” or Maglev design. This concept is radically different from other trains. First, the trains have no wheels, and instead “float” on a magnetic field, generated by electromagnets, within the rail system. Propulsion is provided by “switching” the polarity of other magnets, in a controlled manner, as the train passes by. The principle of magnetic repulsion, which occurs when the negative and positive polarities of the train and track magnets interact, moves the train along the track.

If you are still a bit confused over all this, the description at this site will help make things more clear. A helpful 8-minute video can also be seen here. (Click on the “MPEG 1” link to the right of the train.)

The fastest of the Maglev trains has a speed record 4 mph faster than the TGV.

Another difference of Maglev trains, compared to “standard” trains,
is the absence of an engine. The propulsion system does not use motors (or any other moving parts); meaning that all the cars on such a train can be passenger-carrying cars.

There are Japanese and German versions of the Maglev concept, and each resolves braking and stability issues in different ways, but the basic designs are reasonably similar.

An extensive list of high-speed rail projects worldwide is available, courtesy of Railway-Technology.com. At the moment, the only commercially operating Maglev system connects downtown Shanghai and Pudong Airport (about 30km), and pictures of that train in action are here.

While high-speed trains are relatively green (using air travel as a basis for comparison), they either require lots of amperage sent to electric motors, or lots of amperage sent to banks of electromagnets in order to operate. The Japanese Maglev design uses more current than its German counterpart due to the fact that its electromagnets are cooled to obtain a superconducting effect, and the cooling creates an additional electrical load.

The low-level electromagnetic fields created by the Maglev systems are an additional hazard, and those with pacemakers, for example, will be unable to ride those trains. The “steel wheel” trains are disadvantaged by friction, and the Maglev trains experience “magnetic drag”.

OK, so now we get to the good part.

Imagine if you could take the wheels off the train, removing the friction disadvantage of TGV, and remove the electromagnets and cooling system from the Maglev, reducing energy requirements to a fraction of what was previously thought possible.

Imagine being able to move 2500 pounds over flat level ground, at substantial speeds, while using only ½ horsepower of energy?

For that matter, imagine if the same technology could operate escalators, move container freight around the yard, or even launch spacecraft?

Earth, meet Karl Lamb.

In typical American style, he has invented a new approach to the Maglev concept, patented the idea, and has now decided to take on Germany, France, and China pretty much single-handedly.

And guess what? He may just pull it off.

His company, Magna Force, Inc. Is promoting the LevX system as an alternative.

What’s the difference between this and other systems?

Permanent magnets-not electromagnets-suspend the cars above the guideway.

With permanent magnets no current is required to keep the load suspended above the track, and no current is required to cool conductors, as in the Japanese design. This system results in enormous savings in electricity over any other concept we’ve discussed.

A linear induction motor (also described in the movie above) provides motive force. To give you an idea how much speed such a “motor” can provide, consider that a variation of this design is the linear accelerator, which propels objects at velocities approaching the speed of light.

Here’s the crazy part-the system can be scaled up or down in size. In other words, designs ranging from a 1 person people-mover, to a sort of “container pipeline”, to platforms that assist aircraft to launch and land from shorter runways (aircraft carriers?) are all possible-and would all be greener than current methods of accomplishing the same thing.

Can this concept work? Check out the last two pages of the “Letters” link for an independent engineering analysis. Long story short, it absolutely can work.

Now let’s talk money.

Because this system requires no electromagnets, no elaborate cooling technologies, and very little power for propulsion, there is a giant reduction in operation and maintenance costs. The folks at Magna Force (who were kind enough to talk to me-thanks Jo!) report that the difference is in “orders of magnitude” compared to a light-rail system such as the Sound Transit system being built in Seattle.

If that wasn’t enough, it’s much, much cheaper to build as well.

So how’s that for a great way to wrap up Earth Day?

An American company that has an exciting new technology that saves huge amounts of carbon; saves huge amounts of money, and who, if all goes well, may soon be able to announce their first commuter project. (Because there are currently no formal commitments, and no official announcement has been made, I’ll wait for developments before providing more information there.)

The best part- if this takes off, we’ll see the greenest trains ever.

On The Vagaries Of History, Or, Texas, Know Thyself

A document produced in the heat of our Nation’s birth, back in that distant time of 1776, remains etched in our consciousness today for its revolutionary declarations regarding the roles of Citizen and Nation.

To this day it remains as relevant as it did then, both as a rallying cry for Freedom, and an expression of our greatest aspirations as a People.

Another document, produced in the town of Washington, remains much less well known, yet that document also offers great relevance, and warnings that shine clear and bright through the fog of today’s politics.

“When a government has ceased to protect the lives, liberty and property of the people, from whom its legitimate powers are derived, and for the advancement of whose happiness it was instituted, and so far from being a guarantee for the enjoyment of those inestimable and inalienable rights, becomes an instrument in the hands of evil rulers for their oppression.

When the Federal Republican Constitution of their country, which they have sworn to support, no longer has a substantial existence, and the whole nature of their government has been forcibly changed, without their consent, from a restricted federative republic, composed of sovereign states, to a consolidated central military despotism, in which every interest is disregarded but that of the army and the priesthood, both the eternal enemies of civil liberty, the everready minions of power, and the usual instruments of tyrants.”

Sound familiar?
Wait, there’s more...

“When, long after the spirit of the constitution has departed, moderation is at length so far lost by those in power, that even the semblance of freedom is removed, and the forms themselves of the constitution discontinued, and so far from their petitions and remonstrances being regarded, the agents who bear them are thrown into dungeons, and mercenary armies sent forth to force a new government upon them at the point of the bayonet.”

We have before us a manifesto, which warns against the dangers of a Government that would disregard all interests but the Army and the priesthood, which has seen a Government fail in its duties to protect the rights of its citizens, and which has been forged in a political environment where moderation had disappeared.

A document that was really concerned about the merging of Church and State:

“In this expectation they have been cruelly disappointed, inasmuch as the Mexican nation has acquiesced in the late changes made in the government by General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, who having overturned the constitution of his country, now offers us the cruel alternative, either to abandon our homes, acquired by so many privations, or submit to the most intolerable of all tyranny, the combined despotism of the sword and the priesthood.”

Has anyone guessed the identity of this document that has provided these quotes?

For those who have not, it is the Declaration of Independence of the Republic of Texas.

I don’t know if you saw the George Bush/John Kerry debates in 2004, but I can recall Mr. Bush telling Kerry we would never allow other nations to be, in effect, “the deciders”; that the opinions of other nations are not what should guide America’s actions.

In March of 1836, Texans took a different view:

“Nations, as well as individuals, are amenable for their acts to the public opinion of mankind. A statement of a part of our grievances is therefore submitted to an impartial world, in justification of the hazardous but unavoidable step now taken, of severing our political connection with the Mexican people, and assuming an independent attitude among the nations of the earth.”

Texans knew the consequence of the denial of civil liberties, and that is addressed here as well:

“It incarcerated in a dungeon, for a long time, one of our citizens, for no other cause but a zealous endeavor to procure the acceptance of our constitution, and the establishment of a state government.”...

...”It has failed and refused to secure, on a firm basis, the right of trial by jury, that palladium of civil liberty, and only safe guarantee for the life, liberty, and property of the citizen.”...

...”It has demanded the surrender of a number of our citizens, and ordered military detachments to seize and carry them into the Interior for trial, in contempt of the civil authorities, and in defiance of the laws and the constitution.”

Apparently Mexico also had an “enemy combatant” problem, and a Guantanamo of their own.

The Declaration also warns that the very ability to have a working democracy depends on an effective educational system.

Compare this, from the Declaration:

“It has failed to establish any public system of education, although possessed of almost boundless resources, (the public domain,) and although it is an axiom in political science, that unless a people are educated and enlightened, it is idle to expect the continuance of civil liberty, or the capacity for self government.”

To this:

“In a recent essay on the history of education in Texas, historian James Smallwood claims that "from the early Spanish era down to the 1980s, the story of education, allowing for occasional setbacks, has been one of great strides forward . . .." He ends his article, published in the collection of essays Texas: A Sesquicentennial Celebration, by arguing that "The Spaniards would have marveled to see one of the best educational networks--from primary grades to graduate schools--in the United States."

Compare Smallwood's optimistic analysis with an announcement made by the Texas Education Agency on July 13, 1984, concerning the results of the first pre-professional skills tests given primarily to sophomore college students who wish to be enrolled in schools of education to become future teachers of the children of Texas. The students had to earn passing scores in math, reading, and writing. Of the 2,738 students who took the test at 51 of the 65 teacher training institutions in the state, 46 percent failed. Worse, only 10 percent of the blacks and 19 percent of the Hispanics who took the test passed, compared to 62 percent of the Anglos.

Education officials with the TEA called the results "depressing." Disastrous might be a better word. The results of this test, like many other achievement tests given to students and teachers alike, point to a fundamentally troubled public education system. "I don't blame the students per se," said Education Commissioner Raymond Bynum. "After all, they graduated from a high school and passed some college English and math courses. I don't know who's to blame."

And it now appears those unprepared teachers have had their impact-the American Legislative Exchange Council reported that Texas 8th-graders have moved up from 41st in the nation to a solid 39th in a 2005 evaluation.

Texas Government has, as you might expect, gone a bit crazier than usual recently, and you need look no further than the history of Tom DeLay and Texas' 2003 Redistricting to find an excellent starting point.

Texas education went national with “No Child Left Behind”, with apparently predictable results, and we can only guess what effect this would have on the Federal Government over time.

This election is an opportunity for the US to look to its founding principles, to reconsider what kind of a Nation we really are, and to make choices that more correctly reflect our history and heritage.

And so it is for Texas.

So in closing, a suggestion:

Take some time today, read your Republic’s founding document, heed its warnings, and let’s make choices that are better for Texas, better for America, and better for the rest of the world.

As wise men in Washington, Texas said on March 2, 1836:

“Nations, as well as individuals, are amenable for their acts to the public opinion of mankind...”

Even in Texas.

On Fighting A War, Or, The Best Christmas Ever

Lots of people enlist in the military, many more marry into it.
Others are born into it.

I’m one of those.

I was literally born into the Navy.
So literally that my place of birth is the Portsmouth Naval Hospital.

Before I was nine, I was stationed at Portsmouth, Virginia, Jacksonville, Florida, and Hunter’s Point Naval Shipyard, San Francisco. That’s where my Dad was transferred to a destroyer being converted from an older design, the USS Somers (DDG 34).

I remember attending the commissioning, and strangely enough, the one memory of that event that really stands out was meeting a Rear Admiral who had, my Dad told me, risen through the ranks from seaman to admiral.

I remember because my Dad made sure to point out that even though he had been an enlisted man, he did not have a Good Conduct Medal. That may have been the first time I learned iconoclasm can be a good thing.

We had been in California for about three years at that point, and every night my Dad would “come home from work”.

This was about to change.

Ships are not based at shipyards after the work is finished, so it was again time to move, this time to Naval Station Long Beach, California. (Ironically, the Federal Correctional Institution Terminal Island now occupies the site. But I digress.)

I have not set a time to this story, and it’s time to do so.

We are now in the year 1969. Man will be landing on the moon in a month or so (and I’ll be allowed to stay up late to watch it on TV), and we’re fighting the Vietnam War. I am 9 going on 10.

So that’s when my dad left for his first “WestPac” cruise (the Western Pacific, for those of you not Naval); and that’s the first time I understood what having a parent gone for 6 months means.

It sucked that he was away.
It sucked being home.
I don’t remember ever crying because he was gone-he was just gone.

Probably the worst part of all this was not knowing when he was coming back-and the fact that 6 months to a 10 year old is a huge piece of your life.

But that all passes, and eventually he came back.

And then left. And came back again.

Now it’s summer of 1972, and we’re on a new ship, the USS Goldsborough (DDG 20).

In October they left for Vietnam, once again, to do what a destroyer does on duty. The third Christmas in a row Dad was to be gone.

What does a destroyer do in Vietnam? Basically sit off the coast and toss shells on shore at enemy positions. Pretty boring duty, I’m told, unless they shoot back.

Wanna hear a story of cultural adaptation? I heard this after one of the cruises, and never forgot it.

Apparently my Dad’s ship was tied up at Subic Bay (in the Philippines, again for those not Naval) next to a Philippine Navy ship which needed electrical repairs, and a volunteer from the US ship was sent to assist.

Courtesy requires the ship to express its appreciation, and the sailor (an enlisted man) was invited to dine with the Captain and the officers of the Philippine vessel in the ship’s wardroom.

Dinner was apparently quite good, and the Captain announced he had a special treat in honor of the occasion. In walked the steward, I was told, bearing a plate of eggs.

The sailor watched in shock as the officers each opened their eggs, slurped out the liquid contents, and ate what appeared to be a tiny bird from inside.

It turns out the eggs in question are known as Balut-and there is a tiny bird inside. Balut, as it happens, is a fertilized duck egg containing a near fully developed embryo in the shell. (Check out the picture here. Warning: the sensitive among you might choose to pass on this and the next link.)

As you might imagine, his unease grew with each passing moment, as the tray bearing the eggs drew ever closer. What to do? As a brave American fighting man, he knew he had only one choice-eat the egg.

To refuse might be considered an insult; and he was a guest on a foreign ship, after all.

With a slurp and a will of iron, he did his duty.

The Captain looked down the table and asked: “How was it?”
What could he say? “Very good, Sir”

The Captain looked back at him and uttered the words he would come to dread: “Well, in that case, let’s have another.”

I am told the second egg had a different…texture…than the first.
An unexpected sort of crunchiness that was absent from the first experience.

Nonetheless, he was able to gulp it down.

As he looked around the table, he noticed a strange look on the faces of the Philippine officers. Unsure if he had committed an error of etiquette, he looked questioningly to the Captain, who was staring back with a look of wonder on his face.

“I guess it is true what they say about you Americans” he said to the sailor.

“What do you mean, Sir?” was the perplexed reply.

“Well, I heard Americans had iron stomachs, and it must be true” the Captain responded, “the crunchy eggs, like yours…we don’t even eat those in the Philippines.”

Christmas in California is odd, now that I look back on it.

Snow? Not in LA.
Cold, bitter winds? Sometimes it would get all the way down to the 50’s, which probably doesn’t impress the Chicago reader.

Nonetheless, the holiday was just coming up, and as a twelve year old I was expecting some pretty cool presents.

Well, I got one all right.

It had to be the 22nd, or 23rd, as close to Christmas Eve as you could get, midafternoon, when I heard the knocking on the door.

The last thing I ever expected to see was what I saw-my Dad, unannounced, and at least four months early, standing at the door.

Not only that, but standing there in a uniform I’d never seen before-he had made Chief during the cruise.

Even now I can see the moment-and even now it still makes me smile.

I don’t know if I could ever recreate the emotional impact of that exact second.

I am indeed fortunate that you can watch the very same thing happen to a sailor’s son from Whidbey Island Naval Air Station, Washington. His Dad showed up unannounced at his school, and if you haven’t yet seen the video, you need to. It’s just simply amazing. (Here’s the link to the text version of the story. Click on the “Raw Video” link for the…well, raw video. You’ll need Windows Explorer.)

As it turned out, he didn’t return to sea duty for the rest of his career.

Nonetheless, that one day he stood in the doorway was better than all the rest of the days he was home put together.

And for a kid who never saw it coming, it was the best Christmas ever.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Today's diary was written for the BlueNC Veteran's Day celebration, and was originally posted here.

It is one of a series being posted to celebrate Veterans on the site today, and I would encourage you to visit.